fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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