matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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