just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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