i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Someone came in the potted fern
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
