I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
