No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
