What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
