I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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