there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
