So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I wear drunk well.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
