That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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