I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
