theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
