I must be too annoying 4 u.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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