Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
handjob tips. give me some.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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