Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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