you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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