2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
