Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Randomize
