i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
