so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
