those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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