Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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