Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
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we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
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It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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