thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
