oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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