It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I had to cum in my sink.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
