note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
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