they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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