Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
