also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
