Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
