My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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