There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
