i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
