just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
