Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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