Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
