glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize