Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
