your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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