Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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