matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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