in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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