Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
