did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
