We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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