Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize