shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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