I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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