That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
