She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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