i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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