her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize