Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
