my sisters under your porch take her home
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
