don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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