Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
