From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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