If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I need moral support for this bender
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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