i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
