Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
