areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
