I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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