all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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