we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we made out on top of his cat.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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