i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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